Archive for the ‘ dreams ’ Category

My Dream of Being Elected to the State Legislature

Dear Tan,

I was thinking about you the other morning as I was shaking off remnants of an unusual dream.  I thought you’d be interested in hearing about it.

I had just been elected to the Texas State House.  It was my first day and all representatives were milling about inside the capitol building.  Handshakes, back-slaps and general greetings echoed throughout the cavernous space under the dome.  I wore a ratty t-shirt and shorts but everyone else was dressed much more formally.  This had something to do with my appeal to the voters apparently.  You were there and we spoke for a few minutes before you introduced me to the Speaker of the House, Joe Straus.   The Speaker handed me a package and requested that I protect it with my life.  Being eager to please, I agreed without hesitation.

We followed the Speaker onto the floor of the House and we all took our places amidst the continued mumble of how-do-you-dos and friendly banter.  Speaker Straus banged his gavel to begin the session.  He told a joke or two, everyone jovially responded with courteous laughter.

Suddenly a tall, sexy, blonde wearing a slim, leather trench coat kicked the doors in.  Her arms battled to keep the automatic firing of her hand cannons in place and directed at the Speaker as she walked toward him.  I hit the floor as everyone else did.  I couldn’t see what was going on but I knew the woman had shot the Speaker dead.  She was demanding the whereabouts of a certain package.  I instantly knew that the package she was looking for was the same one I had been carrying for the Speaker.

I crawled around on the floor until I found you.  I was new to all this and I needed your expert advice.  You explained that inside the package was a device that could be used to erase the House’s main computer and it was important that we do so right away.  You gave me the whereabouts of the main computer as for some reason I was the only person who could perform this task.

Sneaking out and locating the computer was easier than expected.  The computer was more reminiscent of a dumb terminal circa early 90’s.  I opened the package and inside was an unwrapped mozzarella cheese stick.  Like the ones you can pull apart into strings and eat as a snack.  On the computer was a hole the exact perfect size to fit the cheese stick in long ways.  I placed one end inside the hole and it was sucked in slowly into the machine.  I was fascinated with the technology.

Then the dream really fell apart and got weird.  I don’t think I could even describe it to you if I wanted to.  I will say though, I ended up in a bit of a sex scandal.  Ooops!

Here’s hoping you have better luck in the real world.  Thanks for your representation.

Regards,

Eric

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About 9/11

Dear George,

On the night of September 10th, 2001 I fell asleep listening to Art Bell on 570 KLIF.  I was in the midst of five months of unemployment after the dotcom bubble wreaked havoc on the tech sector.  It was hard for me to sleep at this time in my life so I made a habit of falling asleep to soothing voices from the radio every night.

The next morning the auditory stimuli of the dramatic morning news caused a dream of planes crashing into the World Trade Center.  I would have been relieved to have awoken from this nightmare, but unfortunately my sleeping mind was mirroring the actual events of that morning.

My wife had returned from dropping the kids off at school and roused me to the news.  We turned on the television in time to see both towers burning like twin smokestacks, a horrifying sight.  We sat silent and in shock as we heard of the Pentagon being hit and the plane in Shanksville, PA going down.  We watched in disbelief as the mighty twin towers collapsed in on themselves.

When my wife exclaimed, “Can’t anyone stop them?”  I reflected on the dream I was having and realized that this was a nightmare I would never wake up from.

We live in the flight path of DFW Airport.  I will never forget the deafening silence from the skies as you had ordered all U.S. air travel to be grounded for the next three days.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I appreciated your leadership during those stressful days.

Regards,

Eric

On Sleeping

Dear Hugh,

I was glad to hear that you rebounded quickly after Crystal had betrayed your generosity and trust.  I can still hardly believe that she would be the type of person that would stomp on a man’s heart like that.  I never had any doubt that you would bounce back quickly.  I have to admit, though, that when I heard the rumors of your death, my heart did skip a beat or two.  I was certainly thankful to hear your voice when I called to check in on you.

Anyway, in that conversation you were asking me where the handle “ericslept” came from.  Well, I told you I would explain so here it is.  As I said, it’s a long story so I don’t want to hear any complaining.  I’ll try to keep this as short-winded as possible.

There once lived a house.  It was a house that served a family of ten well for many years.  In the waning months of 1970, one of its occupants, a boy in his early teens named David, was having difficulty sleeping.  What young boy’s mind wouldn’t wander at the sight of country darkness outside his window?  A deep sort of darkness disturbed only by the twinkling of the heavens, ancient light raining down from the big Texas sky.   The quiet comfort and shelter provided by the house allowed David’s imagination to deprive him of a growing boy’s sleep.  Nonetheless, it was a great house.

It was originally built as a duplex. A prefab American Dream snapped together and designed to house two post-WWII nuclear families.  David’s father had purchased and then liberated it from its prison of conformity and released it upon a flat tract of land on the outskirts of Waco.  It would house his large family for several years, jutting out from the hard Texas ground like a mesa.  Isolated, the structure sat away from the roadway, with plenty of land to stretch out its arms.  Freedom.

Just as David was giving way to his dreams he heard someone whisper his name.  He ignored it at first, believing it to be one of his younger brothers intent on annoying him.

“David.”

All he wanted to do was sleep.

“David,” the voice came louder this time.

David flung himself over and projected his annoyance swiftly and with a single word.  “What?”

Before him was something he had never expected to confront.  A specter.  The dark silhouette of a heavy-set man wearing a bowler hat looked down upon him.

Then young David did something completely unexpected.  He simply turned back over and soon went to sleep.  On its face, this shows a young man of extraordinary bravery.  But perhaps this was the only strategy he could come up with that would make this spirit go away.  Sort of like pretending to be dead when a bear is prowling around your campsite.

When the next morning came David’s grandmother was preparing breakfast.  The first thing he mentioned was the strange silhouette of a man he had seen the night before.

“Was he wearing a bowler hat?” his grandmother asked.

When David affirmed, his grandmother explained how she had seen this same spirit.  She was alone in the house watching David’s nephew.  A sweet baby not yet even a year old.  Grandmother had gone to check on the baby when she saw this same silhouette leaning over the crib watching the little one sleep.

Needless to say, this sent shivers down young David’s spine.  But more importantly, that helpless little baby?  That was me.

Anyway, give Shera my best.  Here’s to better luck in love!

Yours Truly,

Eric

P.S. I don’t know if I mentioned it on the phone but I heard the rumor of your death from Gary.  He was convinced that Larry Flynt had you murdered.  What a moron!