My Dream of Being Elected to the State Legislature

Dear Tan,

I was thinking about you the other morning as I was shaking off remnants of an unusual dream.  I thought you’d be interested in hearing about it.

I had just been elected to the Texas State House.  It was my first day and all representatives were milling about inside the capitol building.  Handshakes, back-slaps and general greetings echoed throughout the cavernous space under the dome.  I wore a ratty t-shirt and shorts but everyone else was dressed much more formally.  This had something to do with my appeal to the voters apparently.  You were there and we spoke for a few minutes before you introduced me to the Speaker of the House, Joe Straus.   The Speaker handed me a package and requested that I protect it with my life.  Being eager to please, I agreed without hesitation.

We followed the Speaker onto the floor of the House and we all took our places amidst the continued mumble of how-do-you-dos and friendly banter.  Speaker Straus banged his gavel to begin the session.  He told a joke or two, everyone jovially responded with courteous laughter.

Suddenly a tall, sexy, blonde wearing a slim, leather trench coat kicked the doors in.  Her arms battled to keep the automatic firing of her hand cannons in place and directed at the Speaker as she walked toward him.  I hit the floor as everyone else did.  I couldn’t see what was going on but I knew the woman had shot the Speaker dead.  She was demanding the whereabouts of a certain package.  I instantly knew that the package she was looking for was the same one I had been carrying for the Speaker.

I crawled around on the floor until I found you.  I was new to all this and I needed your expert advice.  You explained that inside the package was a device that could be used to erase the House’s main computer and it was important that we do so right away.  You gave me the whereabouts of the main computer as for some reason I was the only person who could perform this task.

Sneaking out and locating the computer was easier than expected.  The computer was more reminiscent of a dumb terminal circa early 90’s.  I opened the package and inside was an unwrapped mozzarella cheese stick.  Like the ones you can pull apart into strings and eat as a snack.  On the computer was a hole the exact perfect size to fit the cheese stick in long ways.  I placed one end inside the hole and it was sucked in slowly into the machine.  I was fascinated with the technology.

Then the dream really fell apart and got weird.  I don’t think I could even describe it to you if I wanted to.  I will say though, I ended up in a bit of a sex scandal.  Ooops!

Here’s hoping you have better luck in the real world.  Thanks for your representation.



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